What Do You Hope to Get Out of Your Faith?
What do you hope to get out of Christianity? What is the practical, tangible benefit of your faith?
I used to keep a journal. And while it certainly served as an insight into what was going on in my life at the time, what’s really interesting is the insight it gives into the state of my soul at the time. There are stretches where I was writing more regularly and consistently – sometimes because we moved to Bulgaria and I thought that was noteworthy, but other times because I was struggling with something spiritually. At the time, I thought I was just pouring my heart out to get these thoughts off my chest. When I go back and look at them now, I see that what I was really doing was asking for divine intervention for behavioural modification. I was struggling with sin. I was asking God to help me break my sinful habits. And, as good as that was for me to do, looking back on it now, I can see that while I was on the right track, I was still miles away from where I needed to be.
My grandpa was a good man. There’s a story I remember from later on in his life, only a couple years before he died. My aunt was making him lunch and before they ate, they prayed together. My aunt had been doing this almost every day for months, and after Grandpa was done praying, she shared an observation with him. She said, “Dad, I notice that every time you ask God for something, you say, ‘Lord, help me with ______.’ You know you can just pray to God to solve your problem for you, right?”
Grandpa lived through the Great Depression. Grandpa had a great work ethic. So when my aunt said that to him, he paused, looked at her, and said, “I never thought about it that way.”
To me, whether you’re an 86-year-old man or an 11-year-old boy, what I’ve learned is that you can be so close and yet so far away at the same time. I would never fault any of you if you prayed to God to change your behaviour. I would never fault any of you if you asked God for help in your prayers. But if that’s all you’re looking for from the Lord, then you reassess what you think your problem is. Your problem in life is not that you’ve slipped into bad habits. Your problem in life is not that you need a little help from time to time. David helps us understand what our real problem is in Psalm 51:
Create in me a pure heart, O God,
and renew a steadfast spirit within me.
Do not cast me from your presence
or take your Holy Spirit from me.
Restore to me the joy of your salvation
and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. (Psalm 51:10-12)
What was David’s problem? Was it that his palace overlooked Bathsheba’s house? If that were the case, would his problem have been solved by putting up a privacy shade on his balcony? Would the problem have been solved if he had moved, so that his palace wasn’t within eyesight of Bathsheba’s rooftop? Would his problem have been solved if he had left Jerusalem and gone to war with his army like he should have done to begin with?
Any one of those options could have prevented David from sleeping with Bathsheba, in which case she wouldn’t have gotten pregnant, David wouldn’t have called Uriah home to try to cover up his mistake, and Uriah wouldn’t have returned to the frontlines carrying orders for his own murder. But would any of those options have solved David’s problem?
What was David’s problem? It was his heart. David could have set up all the obstacles and barriers to sin that he wanted, but if his heart wasn’t right, he would have just found another way to sin. Put up a privacy shade? Peek around it or through it or out another window. Move the palace? Gawk at someone else’s rooftop. Go to war? Sin somewhere else, with someone else, doing something else.
David’s problem was his heart, and no amount of behavioural modification was going to change that. David’s problem was his heart, and no amount of spiritual strength training or divine hand holding was going to get that heart strong enough that it wouldn’t even be tempted by the sins of its past. That’s not how sin works, and our hearts are worse than weak. Moses put it this way:
Every inclination of the thoughts of the human heart was only evil all the time. (Genesis 6:5)
These words don’t just apply to the people of Noah’s day, or the residents of Sodom and Gomorrah, or the people of Nineveh. They apply to all of us. Our hearts are inclined toward evil all the time. That’s our natural inclination, i.e. our default setting. You drop a human being in any situation and they’re going to trend toward the wrong choice – the sinful one. It’s an uphill battle to do anything right.
We need more than behavioural modification. We need more than a helping hand or a leg up from time to time. We need spiritual transformation. Otherwise we risk what David fears here:
Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me. (Psalm 51:11)
I don’t know that I realized it 20-30 years ago when I used to keep a journal, but this was the feeling in my heart that caused me to write down my sin; I felt the distance that my sin created between me and my God. I don’t know that Grandpa would have put it into so many words, but I have a feeling that this is what he was feeling that inspired him to ask for God’s help; he knew that he was helpless without him.
We need more than behavioural modification. We need more than a helping hand or a leg up from time to time. We need spiritual transformation. And the only person who can accomplish that is not you – not me, not some spiritual guru – it’s our God.
That’s why David prays the way he does. He doesn’t ask God to change his circumstance. He asks God to change his heart. He doesn’t ask God to help him be a better person. He asks God to give him a better spirit. It starts in here. This is where the problem was. But this is also where God applies the solution:
Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. (Psalm 51:12)
God saved you from your sin. He sent his Son to die for your sin, so that he could remove it from you forever; so that he could do all those things we rejoiced in last week – wash you whiter than snow; cause your crushed bones to rejoice; blot out all your transgressions.
God saved you from your sin, and he did it without your help. Jesus wasn’t sent to earth just to get you across the finish line. He ran your race for you and won the victory for you too. In the same way, God does all the work of purifying your heart and transforming your soul. He doesn’t take his Holy Spirit from you. He sends that Holy Spirit into your heart every time you hear his word to work his will inside of you – to ever-so-slowly change your desires from a craving for sin to an appetite for godliness, to give you a solid foundation of faith so you can be steadfast in your life, to restore joy inside of you (instead of fear or anxiety or depression or despair), to sustain you through whatever trial or temptation you face.
That’s what you get to hope to get out of Christianity. That is the practical, tangible benefit of your faith. It’s a God who loves you and forgives you and even continues to work inside of you by his Holy Spirit, not to modify your behaviour or help you out – those things will follow – but to transform your soul into a steadfast, willing, joy-filled spirit because of his salvation. Amen.